inbox for futurology

[cachemoney]

username: FIONA

gif credit to bigblueboo

Comments

[cachemoney]

I'm asking you!! I know you didn't get chewed on by a
past
bug

or whatever,
because Vaughn didn't know what the fuck that was either, so??? I guess I should be mad that you become the One Asshole to Rule Them All in the future (??) or

I'm mad at you. That's my point.

[dbag]

OH, my god. Seriously??? You can't be mad at me for something I didn't even do.

[cachemoney]

UH, but you're going to!

[cachemoney]

I guess!!

[dbag]

No I'm not!!! I mean I don't think I am? I don't want to. It's really really complicated, really really REALLY complicated. But I thiiink I can avoid that happening if I play my cards right. So it's like not even a thing.

[cachemoney]

What is so really really REALLY complicated about "don't be an asshole and don't forget who Fiona is"???

And Vaughn, you also forgot Vaughn.

[dbag]

Okay, firstly, that could've been like five, even ten years from now! Future you probably forgot me too. I don't really have an excuse for the Vaughn thing, but. There's that.

Secondly, there is a lot more to it than not being an asshole. I mean TECHNICALLY if you want to get really simplistic about it then... yeah. But no.

[cachemoney]

Obviously I'm forgetting you the second our business is concluded, but please, I make a more lasting impression than that.

Secondly: what are you even talking about.

[dbag]

Wow. Thanks. Like I said, really really REALLY complicated. But I guess you won't have to deal with it anyway because you'll have forgotten all about me! So. There's not even any reason to explain it. So don't worry about it. [ PASSIVE-AGGRESSION ACTIVATED TBH >:( ]

[cachemoney]

[WOW, HE STARTED IT.] Did I say later? I mean now. Who are you again?

[dbag]

Okay, now I'm really not explaining it to you! And it's GOOD, too. MIND-BLOWING.

[cachemoney]

Good, because I don't care and it's probably REALLY STUPID anyway.

[dbag]

Oh, you wish. You have no idea. It's life-altering stuff. The plot twist to end all plot twists. You're gonna be 100 years old and sitting in your rocking chair thinking MAN I should have been nicer to that super cool guy Rhys. Because you won't have forgotten me. Because I'm very unforgettable. And super cool.

[cachemoney]

There is a negative kajillion chance of that happening. And I am PLENTY nice to you.

[dbag]

Seriously? You're think-yelling at me! The innocent victim, may I add.

[cachemoney]

Is this where I'm supposed to beg you to explain how you, dear sweet Rhys, could possibly be a victim in all this?

[dbag]

Nnnnnnnnno. But it can be. Or you can just believe me. Either way.

I'm sorry for being a dick, that's not gonna happen, blah blah blah, I'm TRYING to apologize to you. So here's the part where you say "Okay Rhys! I believe you, and also you're super cool, really hot, and you pull off hats way better than me. I'm not mad at you anymore, let's be BFFs."

[cachemoney]

You do not pull off hats better.




Look, you did this before, I'm just concerned you're going to snap and start murdering people. Like, in the immediate future.

[dbag]

Oh my god, I'm not going to murder anyone. Probably. I... realize that sounds unsure but just trust me on this, I'm not going to willingly murder anybody, I know you think I'm an asshole but I'm not an actual psychopath.

But. If I start acting weird again -- WHICH I WON'T probably -- then maybe you should stay at a safe distance. Just to make sure.

[cachemoney]

Okay, first of all, you ARE an asshole. Secondly. I know you don't trust me, whatever, but if you're having some kind of problem, at least tell Vaughn what's going on with you.

You also always act weird etc.

[dbag]

It's not that I don't TRUST you, I just know how it's going to play out. You would definitely get pissed. I mean, more pissed. And then you'd hate me forever, probably. You haven't exactly been sympathetic to my plight up to now.

[ his PLIGHT, fiona!!!!!!! ]

[cachemoney]

Oh, you KNOW how it's going to play out? Are you psychic now, too? Try me, Hyperion, I'm going to blow your mind with how goddamn sympathetic I can be.

[dbag]

Oh, you're gonna blow my mind?? Okay, fine, let's do it, meet me right now and you can show me how SOOOO sympathetic you are.

[cachemoney]

Fine! GLADLY. Where the hell are you, let's do this.

[dbag]

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M EATING MY FEELINGS IN THE DINING HALL.