[ Wow, three and a half, that's basically how mad he assumes she is at him on a regular day. He wakes up and she's probably like first of all, how dare you. Anyway, he's impressed, this is a vast improvement, he totally thought she would try to murder him. ] Wow, I am so comforted just thinking about it. I'm assuming there will also be singing at some point? You know, a relaxing Pandoran song, like 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Ahhhh, Help, I'm Getting Chopped Up By Bandits'.
Wow, yes, that's exactly what our lullabies are like. Nobody would ever know you're an offworlder. [Just kidding, everyone can see it from ten thousand miles away. He looks too much like somebody who doesn't know what a skin pizza is, it's too obvious.
She folds her arms again, smiling a little. She's still pissed off that he hid this for so long, what the fuck, but at least he's not actually goddamn insane. Small victories.] Sooo. Nobody else knows?
[ They can see it from ten thousand miles away because he doesn't have any blood on his clothes!!! The joke is that everyone on Pandora is a murderer. Grimacing a little, he says, ] Uh, not yet. I guess I gotta tell Vaughn now. [ He can't tell Fiona and not tell Vaughn, she's way lower on the friend list. Vaughn is like his top five friends. Not in the top five, he is the top five. ] So that's gonna be a thing.
[She shrugs, because that doesn't seem actually like a problem to her. Don't all Hyperion employees worship Handsome Jack? It'll be like Rhys is the Chosen One.] Please, he'll probably think it's cool or whatever. It's a lot better than thinking you're losing it, anyway.
Yeah. [ He is not very convinced!! But he squares his shoulders and takes a breath. ] I guess I should, uh. Go find him. I don't wanna— yeah. [ It already feels awful that he wasn't the first person who knew, he doesn't really want to wait too long after telling Fiona. He pushes his seat back, standing, and smiles weakly before shooting her some finger guns. ] So. See you later, alligator. Sorry, I don't know why I said that. —Oh, and, um. I'm still counting on that regret hat, so.
[She smiles back at him, trying to be encouraging, and waves vaguely. Like shoo, she knows where she stands compared to the Bromance, it's fine.] It'll be the most regretful hat you ever saw. And -- you know. Don't worry, or whatever. We'll figure something out, all three of us.
[ Don't worry, or whatever. God, is he on cloud nine already or what? Just so relaxed. He'll never worry again in his entire life. It's actually comforting to have another head to put together with his, though, so he says, ] Okay, yeah, thanks. ...Bye. [ And then he's off, all fidgety and weird like someone who totally has a secret, this is going to go so well. ]
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She folds her arms again, smiling a little. She's still pissed off that he hid this for so long, what the fuck, but at least he's not actually goddamn insane. Small victories.] Sooo. Nobody else knows?
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