inbox for futurology

[cachemoney]

username: FIONA

gif credit to bigblueboo

Comments

[moneyman]

What?! Oh, my god. What is it? Did somebody randomly gift you a crab, too? Or is it like, a normal-person pet? Or another robot?

[ the suspense is killing him. ]

[cachemoney]

[A very tiny part of her wants to be like I'M PREGNANT!!!!! but she crushes it. Calm down, asshole Fiona.]

None of the above, haha. It's a SKAG PUP. [Cue picspam of a drooling baby skag.]

[moneyman]

[ he would have had a heart attack. ]

Holy shit, are you

[ buuut before he can finish that thought, in come the pictures. lots of them. good god. ]

Wow, you're serious. That's so awesome! What's its name?

[cachemoney]

[Look, she is a proud pet parent. It happens.]

Sheee doesn't have one yet. I'm really not good at names.

Rhys told you I named my squidge after him, right?

[moneyman]

Oh yeah, he told me. Rhys Jr., right? I'm sure it was an honor.

[ he knows she named it that because it was annoying, but he'll conveniently leave that part out. ]

So, when can I meet this new child of yours?

[cachemoney]

['An honor' is one way to put it.]

Oh my god, whenever you want! I'm trying to get her used to as many people as possible, so she won't... you know, default people to 'food.'

Try not to wear anything toxic.

[moneyman]

Right, of course. Gotta socialize 'em, right?

[ because encouraging a baby skag not to eat people is just like bringing a puppy to doggie day care. ]

Pretty sure I'm non-toxic. Are you keeping her in your room?

[cachemoney]

Well, yeah. I'm not gonna keep her in the stables. [USE YOUR NOGGIN, VAUGHN.]


Oh-- uh
Myyy room is Rhys's room now. So. Go there instead.

[moneyman]

Uh... yeah, obviously. Sorry, stupid question.

[ look, with all due respect, it's a skag. he's a little surprised she's even allowed in the building. ]

Gotcha. Can't say I'm surprised. I'll be right over!

[ sure enough, a few minutes later, there's a soft knock at the door. no need to spook the baby. ]

[cachemoney]

[Don't you dare disparage her child!!! Baby Squishface is a part of the family, Fiona probably has a big dog bed set up for her or something.

After a second, the door opens, and Fiona wastes no time wrapping Vaughn up in a hug. There is no tiny skag barreling at him or anything, so it's safe to assume she's sleeping; good choice with the gentle knocking.]

There you are.