What, no, that's stupid. [ Clearly more stupid than the Actual Real Story!!! Which is not stupid at all!!! ] Just— let me explain, please, before jumping to conclusions. Remember when I had that ID drive, and I was all look and learn, and then I jabbed it in my head and passed out? Remember that time? Well, it turns out that there was a program on there, annnd I downloaded it into my head, annnd it. Was. Jack. Not actual Jack, um, that one's actually dead, but. An AI.

[ He clears his throat awkwardly. This is fine, this is not at all uncomfortable. Weakly: ] ...Surprise.